So it's not really a secret, though I don't spend my spare time discussing it, but I have a rather severe anxiety disorder. I've been treating it for a while.
Sometimes it's like it's not there, and sometimes- like the past few days- I talk too fast and my heart palpitates and I have nightmares and I hyperventilate.... I could go on, but you get the idea.
But here's the kicker.
I would actually like to get better.
I would like this to be a mere side note.
A side effect of my eccentricities.
But when I told my Dr I wanted to get better, he just stared at me.
He told me I should have a positive conversation with myself.
I told him I already do that all the time- that's how I manage to do as well as I do.
Then he said there was nothing more he could do for me and handed me a prescription for the same stuff I already have.
I spoke of active things to try to combat this, like gardening and getting my dog certified as a therapy dog, and it was like I was speaking Russian all of the sudden.
I still can't get over the way he stared at me.
And when he wrote me a note for work, he complained that there would be a lot of paperwork involved. I said it was OK, I didn't really need one, but then he seemed to feel like he had to write it anyway.
So I made sure it was within the limit where I don't actually need a note.
I'd hate to think what would happen if he had more paperwork... (?WTF?)
Aren't we supposed to try to better ourselves?
Aren't we supposed to try everything we can?
I already contacted my healthcare people and requested a new Dr.
This is silly.
A goofy chemical imbalance is interfering in my life and I want to make it stop- and without just having random pills thrown at me all the time.
That can't possibly be too much to ask.
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